I Best Tidy Up My Head
by Klainey
Summary: RPF: CrissColfer   "You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to your dreams, because that would be lying to your heart."
1. Chapter 1

Every night on tour, Darren would come to Chris' room, install himself on the bed and they would chat for hours, until they realized they should really, really go to sleep. Every day began early and ended late, but despite the exhaustion, Darren kept coming to Chris' room, and Chris would let him in.

They talked about everything and about nothing. Their topics varied from the weather that day and the amount of permanent hearing damage they would have gotten from the screaming fans, to discussions about the afterlife (or, according to Chris, the lack thereof), about philosophy. About love.

Chris always tried to dodge the topic, knowing Darren just wanted to pry for details about his former boyfriends and his current crushes. The former he really didn't have a problem with. He still had contact with both guys, and they were all friendly and no hard feelings and everything was rainbows and glitter and unicorns. His current crush, on the other hand, that was a little different.

It was different because his current crush was asking him about his crushes. And he was doing it in an undeniably adorable way. And it took Chris everything he had not to just spill it all.

How he had liked him in his Starkid productions, as a performer.

How he had liked him on the first day he actually met him, as a co-worker.

How he liked him as a friend, how he liked him as maybe, possibly, _more_ than a friend.

How he loved him.

The night after the Dublin skit he was working on the script of his movie. His earbuds were plugged in and he didn't hear the knocks on his door.

He had a playlist on his iTunes, dedicated solely to songs that helped him write more easily.

Another series of knocks sounded through the small hotel room.

"Chris! Are you decent? I'm about to knock down the door so if you don't open it…"

He heard the familiar voice shouting above Adele belting out another note.

Rolling his eyes, he saved the document, closed his laptop and went to open the door.

"Chri- Oh hi. I didn't know you wore glasses."

Rubbing his eyes, Chris took off his reading glasses.

"Only for the computer. Why?"

"I think you look _cute _with them."

On the word 'cute' he tapped Chris on the nose and pushed him aside to flop face forward on the Queen sized bed in the middle of the room.

"Are you here to drool on my bed or to give me an explanation as to why you felt the need to kiss me today on stage?"

Chris asked tiredly, rubbing his temples and unconsciously licking his lips at the memory.

"Mostly to drool. Kissing is exhausting you know."

Darren's voice sounded muffled because of the fact that he had his face buried in one of _Chris'_ pillows.

"Darren if you actually drool on that pillow I will make sure someone drools on your pillow and I won't tell you which one has someone else's spit on it. Am I clear?"

Darren, still just a mop of dark curls on the bed, turned over and said

"Aw you wouldn't. You love me too much for that."

Chris' already pale skin tone seemed to blanch even more, before a dark blush crept up from under his collar.

"I-I… I don't. I mean I do, but as a friend, not love _love_, more like, liking, but not like _like_ and I'm rambling why don't you stop me?"

Darren, who was eyeing him curiously from the side of the bed, shrugged.

"I don't know, I thought it was pretty… interesting. I was waiting for some more to come actually. I'm kinda disappointed Chris!"

"What?"

"I thought you were going to confess your undying and everlasting love for me."

He shrugged again. Chris scowled at him.

"I do not have any everlasting love for you right now."

"I heard you talk in your sleep. You can lie to yourself, Chris, but not to your dreams. Because that would be lying to your heart."

Chris sighed because he knew this was going to turn into one of Darren's 'organic' talks, using words that were too long and too difficult to spell, let alone say, for this time of night.

"Well maybe I _do _lie to my dreams, Dare, who knows."

"Or, _or _you just really really love me."

He tilted his head slightly and flashed Chris his ever-winning 'dapper-seventeen-year-old-smile'.

"Yeah, yeah, really funny. I still have a lot of work and you clearly have nothing to talk about, so…"

Chris turned around, and behind him he heard Darren say something about being tired and sleeping, but his head was already back in his movie.

He plopped down on his uncomfortable hotel-deskchair and plugged in his earbuds. A while later he heard a faint murmur behind him, and pulled out his earbuds. He looked over his shoulder and saw Darren sprawled out on the bed.

His hair was escaping the gel and a few uncontrollable curls escaped the helmet hair and make-up always turned it into.

His chest rose and fell steadily, so Chris assumed he was asleep. On his bed.

Ah well, he'd probably pull an all-nighter, so he wouldn't need the bed anyways.

He started typing and got sucked into the story of Carson Phillips and his unfortunate life until he heard a soft whisper coming from the bed. He thought he had imagined it, because Adele was still blowing his eardrums out.

"Chris."

There it was again.

Pulling out one earbud, he leaned back on his chair to look at the bed.

Darren had curled up around one of the pillows, clutching it to his chest.

He breathed out Chris' name again and nuzzled the pillow.

He smiled a bit but tears stung his eyes.

Just like he had said before in some interview, he had _met_ Darren's girlfriend. Darren was about as straight as they come. But why was he cuddling with _his_ pillow, saying _his_ name, and had he kissed _him_ onstage?

A new Adele song rang through his ears and he almost snorted if it wasn't for the tears slowly filling up his eyes.

**You say my name **

**Like there could be an 'us' **

It sounded like he was on the freaking show. How could one stupid song describe so perfectly how he felt?

**I best tidy up my head**

**I'm the only one in love**

Chris turned back to his computer. Maybe losing himself in a life that was even more miserable than his own would make him forget for a second.

**I'm the only one in love… **


	2. Chapter 2

Chris was awakened by a ticklish feeling in the back of his neck and the ringing absence of an alarm. He took a moment to slowly let his senses wake up and let his body adjust to the almost entirely unfamiliar sensation of being well rested. He froze mid-stretch though, startled by an arm tightening around his waist and _something_ nuzzling the back of his neck. When he slowly, carefully, turned his head, he came face to face with a somewhat rumpled looking and very asleep Darren Criss. How in the name of all that is pink and fluffy did he end up being spooned by Darren? It wasn't even just spooning. Somewhere in the night they had apparently ended up getting completely tangled, Darren's arms wrapped around him, their legs laced together and they also suddenly shared the same pillow. Shaking his head, he thought about Ashley and Lea's reaction to the fact that he had woken up with a boy in his bed, if he chose to tell them, of course. He was sure it involved excessive squealing, pointed looks in his direction, and a LOT of highly uncomfortable questioning. He sighed, and began to carefully retract his body from the tangle of limbs when he suddenly came to the conclusion that, yes, he definitely woke up with a _boy_ in his bed. In the morning. He was very sure of this fact because he had just accidentally acquainted his ass with Darren's morning wood. Darren groaned a little against his neck and ground his own hips back against Chris' ass. _Fuck_. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate it but not only was Darren asleep, he was _straight_. And now enthusiastically grinding his crotch against Chris' ass. Awesome. While trying his best not to wake up Darren (and avoiding the awkward talk they were bound to have), he continued trying to untangle their bodies. He carefully pried Darren's fingers off his waist, one by one, and shimmied out from under his arm and away from his grip. Now for the legs. He felt the tiny hairs on Darren's calves catch a little at his lower legs and _fuck,_ if it wasn't one of the hottest things he had felt in his pathetic existence. Ignoring the fact that his own erection was pressing uncomfortably against the fabric of his pajamas, he pulled out his left leg, stilling for a second, making sure Darren didn't wake up, and then his right. Slowly crawling off the bed, he felt Darren shift and heard him practically _whimper _at the loss of body heat. He rolled his eyes and wondered if the fans didn't have a point in calling him a puppy. He looked at Darren's ridiculously long eyelashes, the muscles in his arms as they flexed when he pulled a pillow to his body to replace the gone cuddle-partner. He suddenly realized he was pulling an Edward Cullen, and no matter how awesome (or not) sparkling vampires are, watching someone sleep is still creepy as hell.

So Chris turned swiftly on his heels and made a beeline for the bathroom to take a shower in the hopes that the running water would drown out his moans and simultaneously wash away the guilt. As the hot water cascaded down his shoulders he grabbed his still achingly hard cock and started slowly stroking.

He didn't particularly care for his pleasure, at this point he just wanted to relieve the pressure. He closed his eyes and just felt the drag of his hand, slick because of the water, the hot, coiling pressure low in his spine, the sweep of his thumb over the head. He came closer and closer, but just his hand wasn't enough. He closed his eyes and thought about what it would feel like if his hand were a pair of lips, wrapping around his cock, tonguing at the slit and tracing the veins with insistent pressure.

He imagined the way big, strong, and slightly calloused hands would grab his thighs and squeeze as he sunk his cock deeper and deeper into tight, wet, hot. How they would slide over his legs to his ass, the skin on skin slide just rough enough, and when he would reach his ass, he would pull him closer, and push him deeper until his cock hit the back of his throat. When Chris looked down he saw hazel looking back and he came hard, vision going out of focus around the edges. He stroked himself through his orgasm as the water washed away the last traces of what had happened there. Panting, he leaned his head against cool bathroom tiles and opened his eyes as the post- orgasmic haze cleared up a little. Immediately he was back in the hotel room, with Darren (hopefully) still asleep on the other side of the bathroom door. Okay, so he had just come his brains out thinking of co-star and on-screen boyfriend (on-screen being key here) sucking his dick.

Still weak in the knees and light-headed, he stumbled around in the tiny bathroom, putting on a pair of worn down grey sweatpants and a navy hoodie.

As he walked out into the room he saw that Darren was still soundly asleep, and that he had apparently grabbed the pillow on Chris' side and was now cuddling that. Chris learned two things at that moment: that he was apparently very replaceable as a cuddle partner, and that Darren looked _really _cute and okay he had to stop thinking that kind of stuff if he ever wanted to get over his crush. Because that's what it was, right? Just a stupid crush, nothing to worry about, nothing big or life changing

Right.

He scribbled down a quick note that he was going to get breakfast, tacked on a smiley at the end and left it on the nightstand, in plain sight.

When he came at the breakfast buffet, Lea waved him over.

"Sit."

She motioned at the empty seat next to her, and he carefully put his plate down. The table was filled with used napkins, empty glasses, a few coffee cups and several dirty plates. Chris frowned, as he looked it over.

"Who did I scare away?"

Lea smiled brightly —too brightly for this time of the day— and patted the seat next to her. He sat down and she looked expectantly at him. Chris squirmed uncomfortably and he felt the need to break the silence.

"So… Um… How are you?"

Her smile grew even bigger, if that were possible, and she clasped her hands together before narrowing her eyes at him.

"Oh cut the crap, Colfer. I know for a fact that one Darren Criss didn't come back to his own room last night and I know for a fact that he spent the night in your room. "

Chris's eyebrows all but shot up to his hairline. Spluttering, he tried to reply.

"Well I wouldn't— But he just— you know I'd never—"

She cut him off with a squeal and bounced up and down in her seat.

"You even _smell_ like him! Oh my god, Christopher Colfer, you totally shared your bed with Darren last night!"

Chris tried to regain his composure and ignored the heat creeping up from under his collar.

"How do you even _know _what he smells like? And how do you know he didn't go to his own room last night? And how do you know I slept with him?"

He saw Lea's face contort almost comically, eyes widening and jaw dropping open, and it wasn't until that precise moment that he realized what he had said.

"_No! _ I didn't mean it that way! I mean I guess I slept with him, yes,"

At the sight of Lea once again going into what he liked to call excited puppy mode, he quickly continued.

"In the most innocent sense of the expression! We shared a bed. We slept. That's all we did."

Lea sucked in a breath and was about to start talking again, so he quickly shoved a roll into her mouth.

"_All. We. Did._"

Pouting, she accepted the roll, and while chewing thoughtfully, she wondered out loud.

"So, where is Darren right now?"

Chris shrugged.

"Probably still in bed, or in the shower."

"Do you think he's naked?"

Chris's face turned beet red in a split second as he turned to Lea, who was staring off into the distance, seemingly actually thinking about it. He slapped her arm and when she turned to him with an innocent 'What?', he scoffed.

"Pervert. Don't you have a boyfriend?"

"Prude. Don't you have an imagination? Oh my god, do you even _need _your imagination to picture him naked? Oh my god, Christopher Paul Colfer, tell me you have seen that man naked."

He looked at her as if she'd grown a second head and picked up his plate.

"I'll leave you alone with your thoughts. I want you to think about what you've implied, and I want to you think about why it is wrong to imply such things about your 21 year old virgin baby gay."

She pouted a little, but then suddenly smiled wickedly.

"If you walk away now, I won't invite you to my party."

She studied her nails as she waited for the telltale sigh and screech of chair legs next to her. When she heard it, she looked up.

"Oh, so you _do _want to come. I thought you'd rather spend the night alone in your room writing. By the way, Darren will also be invited and there will be alcohol. Take that as a push in the right direction."

The thought of alcohol was suddenly very appealing to Chris, but not for the reasons that Lea thought. After all, not only was the whole cast about three beers away from oblivion, it would give him a chance to put his theory to the test. A theory he liked to call: the 'Is-Darren-A-Three-beer-queer'.

And a very interesting theory it was.


End file.
